Feelings

Received information yesterday for the infertility treatment that we are to have. We had initially decided to use Graham's sperm, but after looking at the costs involved we're having to re-think it through. Although I have been for infertility before and used donor sperm, I had looked forward to having Graham's baby, rather than having a baby and passing it off as Graham's. I'm disappointed that the child we are both wanting is unlikely to genetically Graham's, but hopeful that we will still be able to go ahead with the donor - and hope that Graham will be OK with having a child in name only. I hope that the donor will be as closely matched to Graham in both looks and personallity so that we can truly feel that the child is 'ours'. My other concerns are the cost, how long can we afford to continue wih the treatment and what the true chances are for me to be able to conceive. I had a pregnancy 4 years ago and the embro did not develop and ended with me having to have a termination. Will I be able to cope if it happens again, how will I cope with being pregnant and awaiting to find out if the embro has developed into a foetus, how will Graham cope with my emotions?