yet another route

Open evening at Darlington for Free egg share IVF

Well it was soooo gooood!

we got there at 5.45pm and it was so easy - off the train into a taxi and there within 5 mins in rush hour!

The place looks so posh from the outside, and as soon as we arrived we were made to feel very welcome, we were offered tea / coffee and biscuits, and at 6pm we went into a seminar room for a 1/2 hr presentation. First they started off by expalining what IVF we all about - how the procedure works etc, the guy who did that part wasn't a great speaker to be honest - it's a good job I knew what he was talking about 'cos otherwise you'd've been totally lost. Then the Clinical Director of the hospital explained about the criteria for egg share and the success rates of the hospital (45.5% for both donor & recipient!) etc, he was about 71yrs old and was a fab speaker - he used to work on a farm before he became a fertility Dr, and he compared human fertility to cow fertility and made it as light as possible adn spoke in simple English, (unlike the first guy who used all the medical terms) so that everyone could understand what he was talking about and gave full explainations about everything.

Then we got shown around the unit and had the opportunity to ask the staff any questions we may have, we got to speak to the CD and he asked about any treatment I'd had before, so I explained about the last IUI, and he explained the reasons why IUI is so unsuccessful compared to IVF.

We then booked our first consultation session - which will be free!

We both came away feeling it is a good move to go there, and they said that if I can get hold of all my previous blood tests, then I shouldn't need to have them done again, so I am going to phone the Sheffield clinic up one day next week to get them to copy my blood tests and my last cycle sheet so that I have them to take to our consultation session

G hadn't a clue what the first speaker was on about, but he warmed to the CD, and as we walked away from the evening, he said he felt robbed by Sheffield as they did nothing like that at all, it was a case of come in show us your money and lets get on with the job, there was no human interaction, no compation at all, where as there it was all so friendly and relaxed, and they appeared to be wanting to do what's best for the couple concerned, not just for the money - they said that they would rather spend extra time getting everything sorted out before treatment to ensure better success rather than rush in like a bull in a china shop and end up with poor results and people feel let down - which is basically what Sheffield felt like.

We were asked when we wanted our consultation appointment, so we opted for January - there's so little time left before Christmas and I wanted to ensure that I have as much time to prepare my body for the low FSH as possible, so we're going on the 11th January it was so worth it, the place was warm and inviting, the people were friendly and both G & I left there thinking we have a real chance here to get it right.

I don't feel pressured at all by this place, I feel relaxed about it all and happy to ride the wave rather than get the speedboat out and try to plough through the waves. When we were with the Sheffield clinic I was constantly pushing - pushing for the earliest appointments all the time, rushing to get everything sorted out, but with this clinic, I don't know, I feel a calmness as though there is no neeed to rush it, as though it will all fall into place without much intervention and we'll come out the otherside victorious

open evening

On the 7th December we are off to a new clinic for their open evening to see about getting free IVF so long as I am capable of egg share. I have to ensure that my FHS is below 8 to qualify, so I am really hoping that something goes right for us this time round.

We will get to find out about the new clinic, get a guided tour of the hospital and be given more details about the egg share programme.

If we don't get accepted I really don't know what the next step will be, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my life childless that much I do know!

another appointment

Follow up appointment

whats going on????

I've been on progesterone since and I normally get by 14DPO, but I've not had the slightest show that is on her way (normally I start spotting anything from 9DPO to 13DPO) but this cycle nothing at all, I went in for bloods yesterday morning and got told it was -ive, and to stop the progesterone, but my temps have gone way up this moning - should I take the progesterone NOW and call the clinic for a re-test, or is it likely to be another -ive, is it too late to take the progesterone now after not taking it when I should have 6 hrs ago and do I really stand a chance at all this cycle???? Am I clutching at straws????

It just seems strange that I've got no indication that is on her way any time soon is this normal when on progesterone OK I freaked out and took he progesterone (last one I have) 'cos if I am pg I don't want to run the risk of a m/c

Looks like I will have to phone the clinic up this morning to find out what's going on.

I also remember seeing on my notes it written + 36 ??? is that related to my bloods or not??? Another question I will have to ask

Pregnancy test

Well today is the end of the road for me - my life is at an end - I got a BFN on the blood test this morning and now I don't know what I'm to do, the thought of never having a child is tearing me apart, I feel like I am such a failure!

We're both wondering what to do now, we both feel so empty and feel like there is something missing in our lives, we may have a break and save up to have the treatment again, or we might think about another avenue.....I really don't know right now.

all systems go

OMG it hurt like hell

The virology lab kept me waiting for the blood results I needed before the clinic goes ahead with the IUI, as the guy who had them was on the phone, then we got stuck behind, what seemed like, every learner driver on the road, so we got to the clinic 15 minutes late, but I got G to phone the clinic and let them know, so it was OK.

I went in and had to put a gown on, then go across the hall into the scan room, where I was told to lay down, they raised the table and put my legs over leg rests, then it was like a smear - that is until they inserted the catheter and injected the goods, I was OK to begin with, but by the time I got down to the car I had started cramping - like really bad wind.

They told me that I should consider myself pg - so no heavy lifting, no pasteurised cheeses, no alcohol etc etc.

I've to start progesterone suppositories tonight and go back on the 25th September for a blood test. I need to think about how I want to hear the results - I can stay at the clinic and be told there and then, go home and phone the hotline in the afternoon or them to call me at a specific time.

The clinic will also phone me on Monday to see how I'm coping with the 2WW and answer any questions I may have.

So now I am officially in the 2WW

trigger

HCG injection at midnight.

second egg scan

I started to take the Clomid tablets - 50mg on 31 August 2006 for 5 days. It wasn't until I'd nearly finished the tablets that any side effects started, at first it was headaches, but they soon subsided, but I am left with hot flushes on and off day and night.

I have been going for bloods and scans to monitor my progress and everything has been going along really well. I have 2 dominant follicles - one on each side that have grown to 18 & 19mm, and I have several smaller follicles that will not be of a mature size:

CD10 bloods and scan - 5 follies:

R=18mm & 11mm,

L=19mm, 2 x 11mm, 10mm.

This afternoon I found out that I will be doing the IUI on Monday 11 September 2006 at 3 in the afternoon.

Now I am really excited about being this close, but also very nervous about the 50 / 50 chance of success.

I'm hoping and praying that I get the BFP at the end of this cycle, otherwise I really don't know what I'll do.

First egg scan

CD8 bloods: FSH=13.2,

scan - 3 follies:

R=13mm,

L=15mm & 10mm.

Treatment 13

Took last clomid and had CD6 bloods done

FSH of 13.0.

I'm scared about the outcome of this cycle - this is our only chance of expanding our family for a while as it's proving rather costly, so all our hopes are on this one cycle. I'm so scared about the future if it doesn't work, but also excited about the thought of it actually working.

We've got our fingers crossed that for once something will go right.

Treatment 13

Started 50 mg Clomid for our IUI cycle.

CD2 bloods - FSH of 7.7.

Pre treatment appointment

I went to the clinic to prepare for the next cycle which will be a medicated IUI.

They gave me my prescriptions for clomiphene Citrate (Clomid tablets) 50mg, and some pesseries for post IUI (progesterone), and some injection stuff to stop ovulation and then to induce ovulation.

I had a vaginal scan and all was well, and my BP is 101/76.

Once my period arrives I wil need to phone the clinic up to let them know.

Then the following morning go in for CD2 bloods.

On CD3 or 4 start the clomid tablets - one a day, and also go for blood tests and scans every other day to check the progress of my hormones and the size of the follicles.

Once the follicles are at a good size, I will either be told to take the anti-ovulation injection if it's coming up for a Friday (as they do not do treatment over a weekend) or take the ovulation injection to force ovulation to take place if we're past the weekend.

35hrs later I will need to go in to do the IUI.

Then I start taking the progesterone pesseries and go back for a blood test 12 - 14 days later to see if I am pg or not, if I am, I will stay on the pesseries and go in for another blood test 3-4 days later to check my beta numbers and then a scan 35 days after IUI (approx 8 weeks pg) to see the baby for the first time.

Now all I need to do is sit tight and wait for my period to arrive.

Due to the level of stress this next cycle is producing, at the moment we are thinking this will be our only chance as neither of us can cope with the emotional and financial strain it is putting on us, so we have everything crossed that this cycle does the job right. If it doesn't I don't know what I'll do as I can't stand the thought of going through life without ever having a child.

One step closer

Yey we have been matched to a donor. The clinic now have the sperm in their freezer, we have a match, and we are now waiting to find out when we can get started on treatment. We are now waiting for the clinic to give us a date for when we are to meet with the Consultant to set out the action plan for the treatment cycle. All being well we'll be able to meet very soon and start on my next cycle. Otherwise we'll have to wait ANOTHER cycle before getting started which I really do not want to have to do.

I'm so excited about being this close, I don't think I could stand having to wait another cycle before starting treatment, please oh please let us be able to go ahead next cycle.

progress again

Graham went for blood test to be matched to a donor.

no go

Well I phoned the clinic to find out if they are willing to do a re-test as I have found out that stress can be a factor in elevated FSH levels, and seen as though I had my test done when we were trying to sort out MIL estate, I think the result would be different if i had it re-done.

The outcome of that was the clinic are NOT willing to re-test, so all we can do is go with IUI.

re-test?

Phoned clinic for a re-test next month, waiting decision

results

Well today I received the results from my Day 3 blood tests:

FSH = 10.1 - too high for egg-share IVF, so can only do IUI

Need to look into FSH levels.....

bloods

CD3 bloods done

next appointment

We went to see the egg share specialist and she was very nice. I filled in a gentic's questionaire, and I need to get me CD3 bloods done, then I need to be checked to ensure I am not a carried for any genetic disorders.

Once they come back and (hopefully) all clear, then I need to be matched to a recipient and then we can go forward to have IVF using donor sperm and having 1/2 my eggs donated to another couple.

If there are suffient quality embryo's created, then I can also donate the embryo's to a couple (as they will only implant 2 embryo's into me at a time, and the rest will be distroyed)

hopefully we'll be able to get started in June or July.

The sad news was that when we returned home from the clinic, DH got a phone call to say that his mom had been rushed into hospital, she passed away later that day.

It is such a tragic loss to us all, and a terrible shock.

May you rest in peace and watch over your family with love and affection. We will love you forever more and will always remember your smile and your laughter. You are missed so very much.

counselling

Well a mixed feeling after today, the counselling went really well, it was to make sure that we were both comfortable with the idea of using donor sperm and to ensure that if we decide not to tell the child that they were conceived through donor sperm that as few ppl as possible know to ensure no-one slips up and tells them in the heat of the moment so be warned no telling OK?.

On the slight downer, I had to phone the donor specialist up at the clinc as she wasn't available whilst we were there, to get our names put on the register, the laws changed last year about the anon. of the donors, but the clinics were given 12 months in which to use up the anon donors, well that 12 months is up, so now they are just waiting for information about how many donors they actually have and how much they have to use, at the moment there are another 8 or 9 couples on the waiting list before us.

They are sending me a load of info about egg share as I can still do that even though we're going to be doing IUI, then I have to fill out a questionaire and send it back, then have bloods done which will take up to 8 weeks to get back and then match me up to a recipient and then we're ready for our treatment, by which time they're hoping they'll be able to match G to a sperm donor.

All in all we're going to be doing loads and loads of waiting around, I have my concerns about how long all this is going to take and my patients is running at an all time low right now as it seems to be one hurdle after another with no end in sight, feeling really down right now.

first appointment

Our first meeting at the clinic for (hopefully) egg share IVF, or at worst IUI.We've to see the counsellor before we can start either process, so we are booked in to see her on 6 April.

waiting

Phoned clinic as still waiting for referal through GP

Went to see the Dr on 9th January 2006, and he was going to refer us to the NHS fertility clinic, but have been chasing him for the past 2 weeks and not been able to get hold of him and no letter has been sent out.

Phoned the private fertility clinic for an appointment and due to see them on 27th March 2006.

GP assistance

Well we did 6 months with the donor before he disappeared without a trace - no contact whatsoever since mid September 2005.

We have tried to find another donor, but nothing came of it.

Seen the Dr, and he is going to refer us to the NHS fertility clinic.

another route...

Going to fertility clinic for IUI

Not to be

Donor #3 let us down at the last minute

Try again...

Contacted by donor #3. (due to start on January's cycle)