round 2

Well we've done our 2nd of 3 cycles, all looked good - we collected 6 eggs, but again only 3 fertilised.

2 were put back, but this time neither took, so we're now onto round 3.

We've decided to wait until 2011 to do the 3rd cycle, give my body, and our emotions a bit of a break and we'll see what happens then.

back to square one....

We went for our scheduled scan on 20th only to find that baby 1 had died, and baby 2 was still not visable, so they scheduled me in for an ERPC for 22nd July.

We have a follow up appointment at the clinic for 2nd August.

The hospital have sent the tissue away for analysis, one set of results will be back within 2 weeks - to check for molar pregnancy, and the second set of results will be back within 6 weeks - checking for chromosome disorders, to see if these were the underlying problems with the pregnancy.

We have to wait one full cycle before we can do another IVF cycle.

Roll on September!

no let up....

The bleeding stopped after 48hrs, so we assumed, as did A&E, that it was the 2nd twin being passed, so we went for the scan on 7th July, assuming to see just one baby, but the scan showed that there were still 2 sacs, both had grown since Friday, and the baby was still there and had grown from 3mm to 4mm.   The second sac had grown from 10cm to 12cm, but still no baby visible, the lady doing the scan said that it wasn't looking hopeful as the larger of the two sacs was of an irregular shape, and there was still no heartbeat.

We were devistated.  We were taken into a side room, and a Dr  came in to see us, she said that there was some hope as both sacs had grown as had the baby, and they don't normally make a call on whether the pregnancy is a no-goer until the baby has reached 6mm, by which time there should definately be a heartbeat.  So there was a small ray of sunshine.  We were told to keep the scan that was booked for 20th July, and we'll see whats going on then.  The Dr did want to see us in a weeks time, but we're in Ireland, so she was happy to wait until 20th.

That evening the bleeding started again, and has continued at a steady pace except for yesterday when I didn't bleed at all, all old, brown blood, no cramping, with my stomach slowly getting bigger (though today it seems to be smaller than it has been for a while), and still feeling fatigued and nauseous every other day. 

Had to buy a pair of maternity jeans over the weekend, and only got 2 pairs of trousers that fit comfortably, though one of those last night was starting to feel tight.

Roll on 20th when we can get t see what's going on!

Feels like we're lurching from one scan to another just to get by.

What a rollacoaster....

Well we finally went for a scan on  25th June at 6+3 weeks and saw 2 embyo sacs, but no babies and we were told that although I was pregnant, the embryo's hadn't developed and they were what is normally called a blighted ovum (b/o).

Obviously we were devastated, and I in particular found it really hard to come to terms with the fact that both embryo's were classed as being b/o especially when one was measured to be 5wks and the other to be on target at 6+3wks.  We were told to go to see our Dr and take it from there, but to get the pregnancy terminated as soon as possible.

So off we went to see the Dr, we explained all that had happened, and she did some investigations over the phone as the best course of action to take.  In the end, she decided to send me off to the Early Pregnancy Unit for assessment.  The earliest appointment was 2nd July.

We headed off to the hospital to EPU and had another scan, this time what we saw was different to the previous week, there were still 2 sacs, the smaller one had shrunk, but the larger one was bigger still and a baby was visible!  They decided not to do anything else, but booked us in to have another scan on 20th July, but to come back if there was any sign of bleeding.

We were over the moon, I burst into tears, it was totally different to what we were expecting to see.

But our happiness was to be short lived, as that evening I started bleeding, so off to hospital we went again, this time to A&E.  I was examined, and the opinion was that I was loosing the smaller of the sacs,  that it was too early to see anything if they scanned me, and to go home.  Another scan was booked for 7th July to investigate what has happened.

Roll on Wednesday so that we can see that our baby is still with us.

:(

Well over the weekend I started spotting - this came as a huge shock as I've had no bleeding at all, so I called the hospital and they have increased the amount of progesterone I'm on, and we're now to go in for a scan on 25th June - this Friday, just to make sure that everything is OK.

I guess 'cos they've not taken me in straight away then they can't be that worried.

FX everything's OK.  only a few days to go and then we'll find out how many babies we're having!

Well....

We did it!

We got a positive pregnancy test!  Due date is 14th February!

All we have to do now is sit tight and wait for our first scan on 2nd July!!!!!!!!

Transfered....

Well we did the egg collection on Tuesday 25 May, and they took 5 eggs, of these 5, only 3 were viable to be fertilised. 

ICSI was performed and all 3 fertilised; 2 were Grade 2 and one Grade 5, so the 2 Grade 2's were transplanted back on Friday 28th May.

Now it's a waiting game until Friday 11th June when the pregnancy test will be done to see if it worked.

Injections

Well I started my injections last night, really didn't like doing it.  One down 4 more to go before we go back to have the second scan and see what effect the injections have had.

The scan yesterday seemed to indicate that yet again I have 3 follicles on the right side and 1 on the left.  Will be interesting to see what happens at the next scan - see if I get more than the 6 follicles I got back in 2007.

Round 1

Well here we go, the first round of IVF, I go in for my first can on Wednesday, so we'll see what I have to do and for how long after that.

Picked up my drugs and we're all set to go...

Fresh hope???

Well we had an appointment with a fertility specialist this morning and he's wanting to get us started on ICSI as soon as possible.

We both need a few blood tests done, though not as many as in 2007 when I went through IVF last time, and my fella needs to do a sperm test.

We'll be able to start as soon as all the results are in and when we've got the money together, so I'm guessing this will be on my cycle in May.  We've been advised to go for a 3 cycle package to get a cost saving rather than paying for each cycle as they come around, which is going to be a substantial cost even with the savings.

We still need to talk some things through, but if his sperm isn't usable then I would rather stop now and not do any ICSI treatment and wait until we've bought our own place and then start the adoption process. 

I know in the past I've used donor, but this time round everything is different - it feels different, the relationship is different, we're in this together from the start, both wanting this rather than it being just me, so if the child can't be genetically 'ours' then I'd rather stop and go for adoption and try to adopt a 'family' ie. 2 or 3 siblings together so that the brothers/sisters are related to each other even though they're not realted to either of us.  I know it's harder for siblings who can't be separated for whatever reason to be adopted, but I think that is the right choice for me, though as I say this needs further discussions once he's got the results back from his sperm test.


So over the next couple of weeks we should be getting all the tests done and the results back, then we'll have an idea as to what we do next.

Why me?

And finally, 3 weeks ago I went for ovary screening, and I got the report this week:  

Quote:

We used 2 methods to assess ovarian reserve, ultrasound scan antral follicle count and blood AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) level. The ultrasound scan shows that you have a normal size uterus and the shape is of an “arcuate” one which is a variation of normal and means that the uterine cavity is slightly heart-shaped. This is of absolutely no consequence at all. The myometrium is the uterine muscle which is normal. The endometrium womb lining also appeared normal. Three antral follicles were seen in your right ovary and one in the left. A total antral follicle count of 4 is on the low side which would be consistent with reduced ovarian reserve. Your AMH level returned at 1.78pmol/l. As you can see form the report sheet (optimum AMH  levels 28.6 - 48.5pmol/l, satisfactory AMH levels 15.7 - 28.6pmol/l, low AMH levels 2.2 - 15.7pmol/l and very low/undetectable AMH levels 0.0 - 2.2pmol/l) this is a very low level suggestive of reduced numbers of eggs in the ovaries. Based on the 2 methods it does appear that, for some reason, your ovarian reserve is markedly reduced.

Because of my ovary results we're having to think very hard about what to do next, my new partner needs to go and get a sperm test done as there is a chance that he's not firing on all cylinders. He suffered from an un-decended testicle, which wasn't operated on until he was 8yrs old, apparently it should be operated on within the first 12 months to avoid fertility problems in later life, so before we can do anything we need to know what both of our situations are.

Is this the end of the road?

I don't see how I am ever going to be able to achieve what my life has been about and the only thing that I've ever wanted out of life now, if a successful pregnancy is out of my reach then what is the point of living and striving for all the things that were only supposed to be there for when children finally arrived in my life, without children my life has no reason or meaning, there really is no point in going on, all the joy and meaning for me has now gone.