Not looking good....

As a result of only having one egg that didn't look as good as it could have, I've had the egg put back today, fingers crossed this works, otherwise I'll never have a child of my own and I'll have to raise other peoples children instead.

Last egg collection

We had our egg collection today - very disappointing, we only got 1 egg, and it's not a brilliant one at that, so we really are at the end of the line, they are going to try and get it to fertilise........

NK treatment

As part of the treatment this time round to control or reduce the NK cells, I had an intralipid infusion through a drip today  Not very pleasant, but lets hope it does what it's supposed to and gets the positive result at the end of this cycle.

Last round of IVF

This will be our last round of IVF.  So I'm praying so hard that it'll work as this is my last chance to have a child that is genetically mine and Peter's......

Just for the record - I hate having to do these injections, I hope I never turn diabetic!

Options

As I have very little faith in the net round of IVF working, we have decided to start exploring the possibility of adoption as our route to having a family.

We went to an adoption open evening in St Albans to see what was involved and the timescales, it was very informative, and I was surprised at the number and age ranges of the people who were there.

I was disappointed in the timescale that they were talking about and it would be a very long time before we would be considered in a  'suitable position' to adopt as we have to wait 6 months after any significant event happens in our lives - therefore once Peter's divorce is completed we'd have to wait 6 months after that before we could start the adoption process, if we decided to move house after his divorce (which we desperately want to do) we'd have to wait 6 months after the move and if we wanted to get married as well, we'd have to wait 6 month after that before we could get started on the process.  So depending on if we decide to do any of those, and depending on the timescales of when we do them, and taking into account the average 18 month - 2 years timescales it takes to go through the adoption process, we could be looking at 3+ years before we'd be able to have a child placed with us :(

I don't think Peter is 100% sure that adoption if for him, there are many elements that have to be thought through, mainly from an emotional point of view, I guess he's still wanting a genetic child, and I can't blame him for that as it's not him that has the problem.  If he was with someone else then he'd probably be OK to have a family of his own rather than having to raise other peoples, it appears I don't have that capability so I all have to get my head around the fact that one way or another I will be raising someone else's child should I wish to fulfil my dream of having a family.

That for me is a bitter pill to swallow :(